Discussion: You Know You Have an Opinion On This...

Last week while racing GodZone, we had a hillarious conversation as a team about things you can get away with in AR while out on the course etc that back in the real world would never fly. This conversation went on for quite a while and knew that y'all would not only find it funny but could contribute too... ENJOY!!!

You can adjust your 'junk' while your team mates are looking at you and theres no disgust, offense or being grossed out

You eat food that's fallen on the ground and no one cares.

You consider a public washroom to be a deluxe accommodation for a nap (true story, ARWC 2011 Tasmania. Dry, out of the rain, and the warm air hand dryer was heavenly!)

You race without your pants on while trekking down a road at night (chaffing).

You can say things like "hey, want to see my chafing?" and know that your teammates will say yes.

You can talk about your firecrotch after a long bike leg and get empathetic looks rather than disgusted ones.

Great thread!

Along the same lines as CO but from the Dakota Rogaine: Your all-female team enjoys a sandwich break while sitting on the floor next to a urinal in a heated men's public washroom. It doesn't seem weird until you see the photos later.

It is perfectly acceptable to drop your pants and change in a crowded transition area.

And it's OK to wipe your nose on your sleeve. Probably not anyone else's sleeve though. Even adventure racers have standards.

We found a tube of butt butter on the trail during a long trek. We picked it up and each took the opportunity to generously apply the nectar of the Gods.

You happliy share your hallaucations with your team mates without fear of being judged, or threat of committed to an institution at the end of the race.

No topic is safe on the trail. Including things you wouldn't verbalize with your spouse or sibling.
So be careful who you race with. I know way too much about my brother in law's sex life now.

After sliding down a snow field for several minutes you can proclaim " If you ever wanted to try butt sex, nows the time. My ass is numb." with a team you have only spent several hours with. (true story)

You slather the waterproof map from leg 1 in bag balm and put it in the 'back' of your bike tights to separate your .... Self from any source of friction
.... Only to have your support crew (remember those) retrieve it from the trash and have it laid out for you at the next TWO TA's before finally explaining the horrified looks on the racers faces and giving it a permanent place in the trash.

You join 3 racers from another team to continue racing Unranked. The female fills a teammate's water bottle from the bladder in her pack, offering as much water as she can. "Did you get enough? I can bend over if you want some more." The three of us males burst out laughing.
You then marry said female.
True story.

:) Best story yet.

In your first expedition-length adventure race (RTNX 2003 Atikokan), most teams are suffering from swamp rash. You come into a remote TA where the Medical Assistant (the "M.A." ;) - many of you will figure out exactly who this is) says you all have swamp rash and need to strip down completely and rinse off in the lake. When you return to the shore, the MA approaches with a handful of her homemade ointment, a combination of Polysporin and cortisone cream, and checks the four of you to see if any spots are especially red and sore. When she notices part of you looking like two bright crabapples, she says "oh, you poor thing". She holds out her handful of cream and asks if you want to do it or should she.
You decide that her hands are already goopy anyway...
True story.
This is a year before you later met the said female above, you swear it.

....or when your team is so delirious that when you're handing each other food, bottles, e-caps, etc....your team has an episode of the dropsies, and everyone thinks it's hilarious!

....when it's perfectly acceptable for a female to yell out "female changing", no one moves away from a really warm fire, but everyone looks in a different direction, giving her 'privacy'!
good times, mo ;)

You realize you are putting sunscreen all over your face after you had just applied lube to various parts of your body with the same hands. You still continue to apply the sunscreen even once you realize the faulty ordering...and then follow it up by eating a sandwich.

Hop a fence into a cow pasture at 3:00am in TN, get chased by the cows, yell at the cows telling them to 'Go home!' with total disregard for the farmer in the farmhouse nearby with a shotgun who I'm sure was alerted to our route by his yelping pack of dogs.

Attempt to skirt a cow pasture (with JayXC, who apparently makes a habit of it) surrounded by thick brush and an electric fence. When the farmer spots you and invites you to cross his field, advising you on which wires are safe to touch as you go through the fence, do so - and then discover that those wires are electrified after all.

I don't remember either instance being my idea. It was nice of you to test the fence for me though.

You have no shame about blaming things on your teammates... ;)

(Not JayXC specifically - just a general addition to the list!)

Ha! Touché!

You climb over a fence without touching it because you are tall, and then watch with great hilarity as you much smaller teammate gets electrocuted crossing the same fence. At the end of this you respond with "Well, I didn't feel a shock"

Poop is VERY important. Gender is not. (Except when you are a female volunteering at WT, what is it with those Canadian guys? Glad the Americans I know are completely appropriate and civilized.)

"Is your team unranked"
No
"Where's your 4th teammate"
He's just over there
"Well, everyone has to come all the way to the CP"
Well, everyone doesn't have pants on and may not want to come into the light of the fire.

From taz ARWC
Dude, sorry to do this to you, but your gonna have to look in my ass......

"..... Uh, ok..... Do I have to get up?"

!!! I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what happened next.

Hey W4J, what happened at WT with uncivilized Canadian guys? I feel responsible for our volunteers!

Anyone brave enough to talk about your "moment"
A new way to win some cool gear from Untamed New England and some sweet AR DVDs. Call 605 939 0576 and leave a voice mail with your best adventure race story. We will play one a week on the podcast and if it is yours you will be styling in some Untamed gear.
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Oh Bash, no biggie! Has made for good stories...

CP2, as you know, was a good way through the bike leg, for many 4-5 hours in, and one dude as I was checking him through asked if I would butter his butt "now...or later..." I just told him to MOVE ALONG. :)

Another one shows how naive I am...

Racer dude: Are you OK, you look a little hot...sure you don't need first aid?
Me: No, I'm fine, in the shade, actually the woman next to me a is a medic. Team number?
Racer dude: Are you sure? Cause you are looking really hot...
Me: No, in the shade, have my water...your time is...
(I hear snorting laughing from other vols--and the medic leans over to tell me what he's doing--I realize and then...)
Me: MOVE ALONG.

Oh, those wild romantic northern men! ;)

P.S. Here's another one for the list: "You make inappropriate comments to volunteers you don't know, who have driven a long way and donated a weekend of their time to make it possible for you to race."

W4J found it funny but it's probably best to skip this.

Hey FB, I remember when you asked me that!

Or how about a lube up of the nether regions in a remote TA in the wilds if Haida Gwaii only to realize through the endless laughter of a teammate that my 'rearview' was right in the face of some approaching teenaged girls. Quite a foul view for them, unfortunately. STORM couldn't even get a word out of warning he was laughing so hard. Gold.

No wonder they installed a rule against that sort of thing at Appalachian Extreme all those years ago...

App Extreme was to lubed map nastiness!

Female team member: "I have to pee"
Male team member in same canoe "current is too fast with those deadhead logs to go into shore...just pee in the canoe"
Female: "Ok headlamps off everybody"
Male (a few seconds later): "check out the beaver"
Female: "hey"

(Actually several beaver jumped into the river at the same time as the incident. I think we laughed for an hour after that).

Were there any portages? I wonder who 'volunteered' to portage the canoe afterwards....;)

Didn't you have a bailing scoop in the canoe? It would have been relatively easy to pee into bailer, then empty urine over side.

Let's not talk about being support crew for a team who paddled kayaks for 8-12 hours on the open ocean. Yes, those wetsuits needed cleaning... And the kayaks too, although we didn't have to worry about that.

Hey Leanimal.. it wasn't me it was Brook! :-)

Teammate: I'm out of lube and really chaffed. You have any?
Me: Nope. But I got some sun screen. Want to try that.
Sleep deprived teammate: Sure, can't make it any worse. Ahh feels better...AHHHH it burns...ahh feels better...Ahh it burns again. (continue for next hour)